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Take Control Of Your Life

Are you a navigator of your life or do u just drift where life takes you?  Yes to a certain extent I do believe in destiny but to a larger extent I believe in taking life in our hands and handling it our way. There is no feeling so satisfying as knowing that you have chosen your own path in life and are living in accordance with your values.  How exactly should you start learning to steer your own course? Here are 3 things you need to give up immediately if you want to regain or start control of your life:


Give Up Relying On Someone Else’s Love

When you rely on other people to love and approve of you in order to feel good, you are handing over your power. In effect, you are telling yourself that your own love and self-validation isn’t sufficient, and you need the affection of others to feel ‘OK.’ This is not living from a position of self-control. When you stop depending on someone else’s approval, you are taking back your personal autonomy and giving yourself the ability to dictate whether or not you are an ‘OK’ person. (Hint: You are totally okay, regardless of whatever anyone else thinks.).  I understand that certain incidents happen in our life that makes us feel inadequate or defected. One has to understand that those were other’s views. Take it as a challenge on yourself. You need to prove it to yourself and  to others that you  have a control over your life and that you have all the qualities that other’s don’t have. It will take time, but it will happen. When you let go of your dependency on someone else, it empowers you to think about what you want from life and from your relationships. When you know that you are just fine on your own, you are firmly in control. You put yourself in the position to choose who and what you add to your life, secure in the knowledge that you always have your self-love to sustain you.


Give up unnecessary expectations

Are you naturally a very high achiever or do u waste a lot of your time trying to achieve Very high standards? Perhaps you strive to be the very best at everything you do? Do you have daydreams or fantasies in which you magically succeed at everything you attempt? There’s nothing wrong with wanting to improve your skills and learn new things. Challenging yourself can add a great deal of excitement and enjoyment to your life. However, holding yourself to unhealthily high standards is an example of rigid, out-of-control thinking. You start telling yourself things like, “If I cannot be the best at this, there’s no point in trying,” and, “If I don’t pick up this skill quickly, I shouldn’t even bother.”

These kinds of thoughts are not going to help you feel in control of your life. Instead, you will feel at the mercy of your perfectionist nature. Try to appreciate the experience of trying new activities and skills regardless of whether you excel at them or not.

Try to let things be. Loosen up a bit, don’t be so obsessive, try to let go of things. This behavior is un healthy. It’s eating you up from inside and you are not being able to strike a balance. Just let it go please.


Give Up Blaming Yourself For What You’ve Done Wrong.

Everyone makes mistakes. It’s a simple fact. Even the people you admire most have screwed up many times over the course of their lives. In order to make progress in life, you must take risks, and with risk comes the possibility of failure.Unfortunately, it’s easy to ruminate on what went wrong, and what you should or could have done differently. If you want to regain control over your life and be able to look forward to the future with a positive outlook, you must stop beating yourself up for past mistakes. Ask yourself what you can learn from the past, and then make a conscious effort to look to the  future.                             It’s not easy to take control of your life, that’s why so many of us are stuck in the same old patterns of co-dependency, unrealistic self-expectations, and pointless regret. However, making a conscious decision to live in a new way is the first step to regaining a sense of self-value and self-mastery.

I know it has been easy for me to say all this. But I  know it through my experience in life that it is not impossible to change our personality all that it takes is to come to terms with a flaws that you have and with unstinted devotion try to change regardless how old you are. A very good book that will help you is “Reinventing your life ” by GEFFRE Young.



Dr. Faisal Mamsa

1 Comment

  • Uzma Hayat

    Beautifully written.

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